33-year-old assumes responsbility for mom's house after she passes without a will, older sister flips out when she proposes renting it to a friend: 'I don't see her doing anything besides hating'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 9, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

The passing of a parent is almost always a sensitive and pivotal time in a person's life. When one of the reasons that you are even on this planet suddenly isn't here anymore, there is a lot of emotional processing that has to be done.

As if that wasn't enough, there is also the tricky question of the belongings and property that they leave behind. Unless you have no other family whatsoever, the inheritance has the potential to start all manner of arguments with all kinds of relatives.

Sometimes, these disagreements are more unexpected than others. It can be easier to predict a run-in with a wayward cousin than dealing with a sibling who seems to change their mind out of the blue. It requires extra sensitivity in a situation that everybody probably finds difficult enough already. It may be the case that whatever the solution, it will not make everyone happy.

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  • This is how one woman felt after she assumed responsibility for her mom's house after she passed without leaving a will. Her only other close family was her older sister, who owned her own property and lived two hours away. The house had been built by their great-grandparents, and only family had ever lived in it.

    After living in the place a while, the woman decided that she wanted to move for better job opportunities. Wanting somebody to help cover the expenses of the home and also take care of it, she proposed that a close friend of hers rent the property for a year. 

    When she communicated this to her sister, she got upset and cussed her out for the idea, leading her to back down and instead ask her to cover half of the expenses while she was away. However, she found herself having second thoughts, and she wondered if they were valid.

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    Cheezburger Image 10491574272
    via Yunus Tuğ (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for renting my mom's house to a friend when I move, despite my sister's request?

    So, my mom passed away last year with no will. It's just me (F 33) and my older sister who is 50. My sister lives in 2 hours away in her own home, and I'm currently living in the house my mother owned. When our mom passed, I told my sister I would assume responsibility of the house and pay all the utilities and home warranty insurance. I'm about to move to San Antonio for better job opportunities and want to rent the house out to my good friend whom I trust, so she can take care of the house whi
    via -mydearwatson
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    Quick backstory-The house my mom owned is a family home, my great grandparents built it in the 50s and we are the only family that has lived in the house. It's a really amazing home. When I told my sister I planned to rent the house out to my friend while gone, she absolutely lost her mind and had basically an emotional breakdown. Crying, screaming, and cussing at me wondering why the h || I think it'd okay for an "outsider" to live in our family home. To be honest, I'm thinking of all of this i
    via -mydearwatson
  • 05
    So...am I the a_h_le for telling my sister to basically go f herself so I can rent the house out and not have to worry about it at all? Especially if this is just temporary? EDIT: Thanks to everyone who had actual, constructive advice to give me. I really appreciate it and it made me realize we definitely need to get things figured out on paper, and make everything legal. When I texted my sister earlier to tell her I was starting the probate process, she actually admitted she wanted to move back
    via -mydearwatson
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    Most people didn't think that she was being fair.

    StAlvis ESH INFO my mom passed away last year with no will. OK. So how did you work out division of her assets? Who is currently on the deed?
    via StAlvis
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    Acrobatic_Drawer_959 NTA. Same happened with my dad about six years ago. We had to go to his house directly from the hospital, where he did, to try to find money to bury him. It took forever to get his house in good shape to sell. It was just my brother and I. We agreed I'm pretty much everything, and that was a huge help.
    via Acrobatic_Dreamer_959
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    UteLawyer Your mother did without a will so the house belongs to you and your sister equally, yes? Your sister was doing you a kindness by letting you live in that home without paying her. You want to repay that kindness by treating her like she has no rights at all to her property. YTA.
    via UteLawyer
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    betterthanguybelow The estate owns the house.
    via betterthanguybelow
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    mds837 YTA even though you lived there, you own it evenly. You not only decided to rent it out without her permission, you were going to use the rent to pay for what you committed to do on your own. It's not your call to make. She was doing you a favor, not the other way around. I imagine if your mom felt strongly you were entitled to her home, she would have made a will. She didn't and so it's not yours to rent. It's not even yours to live in. Do you and your sister both a favor and let it go.
    via mds837
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    account_for_mepink YTA. You co own the house with your sister. There is equity in the house. Your sister is entitled to the equityOf the house. It's not your house unless you buy your sister out.
    via account_for_mepink
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    inturnaround ESH, but maybe you more than her. Since your mother did without a will, then her property would have to go through probate. So you're not in any position to rent the home you don't own at this point to anyone until and unless you do own it. Get a lawyer to represent you. Hash this out with your sister and get it all legal. And turn down the temperature here. I know that you're both grieving, but that doesn't excuse your presumption here on who gets to control the property and you're
    via inturnaround
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    No_Security4329 It should be a nonstarter. OP made plans without consulting her sister, who is entitled to 50% control over the property. How about broaching the topic with something like "so, what do you think we should do with the house? I've got some ideas." And then take it from there.
    via No_Security4329
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    inturnaround I think the fact that it was a complete non-starter for her to even consider a tenant. Like no one is going to live here and they're just going to pay halfsies for it to be vacant is just not sustainable and that's what not having a tenant gets you.
    via inturnaround
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    No_Security4329 It should be a nonstarter. OP made plans without consulting her sister, who is entitled to 50% control over the property. How about broaching the topic with something like "so, what do you think we should do with the house? I've got some ideas." And then take it from there.
    via No_Security4329
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    rockology_adam YTA because you think this is your call to make because of responsibility. What names are on the title? What happened with your mother's estate? I assume you and your sister share it. That means your sister has a share of the home, and yes, that entitles her to have some say in what happens with the home. You can't rent it out without her approval. Legally, full stop, unless the title is purely in your name (and even then, morally, if the intention was that you two share the home,
    via rockology_adam
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    I can hear you asking what the difference is here, between ignoring your sister and strong arming her into either taking responsibility for the home or allowing the rental, and the difference is fairly important. By setting your plans (you will not maintain financial responsibility here, at least, not from your own pocket), and giving her a choice, you allow her agency. She won't like either option, but that's not where the A-holery comes in. That's life. You don't always get an option you reall
    via rockology_adam
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    BrenInVA An estate attorney is needed. With house/property only, they often work for a flat fee - also billable and charged to estate costs. Right now everything is in limbo, and it is financially best for both you and your sister to get this done.
    via BrenInVA
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    United-Manner20 Yta it sounds like you and your sister are both equal inheritance if your mother did without a will. She has a benefit in anyway from you living for free. Even if you're paying the up key, you should deduct that from what you're getting from rent and then send her her half.She should not just be receiving nothing because you said you would pay some of the cost.
    via United-Manner20
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    anglflw I don't understand why you think this is your house only to do with as you please. If your mother di d without a will, the house should belong to her heirs equally. YTA
    via anglflw
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    SnooSprouts6437 YTA, so you just automatically assume the house is yours? Just because you are taking over the responsibilities doesn't make the house yours. If you want the house, then you should pay your sister half the amount of what the house is worth. Nope, if I was your sister, i'd be getting a lawyer and making sure you split the house fairy. Either sell it or pay her half.
    via SnooSprouts6437
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    BuilderWide 1961 YTA You both own the home, you don't get to make the rent decisions without talking to her first.... You just sprung that one her
    via BuilderWide1961
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    Curious_mind_ YTA. It's not your house! Why are you acting like it's yours?
    via Curi0us_mind_
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    Famous-Ice6175 "So...am I the ah le for telling my sister to basically go f herself so I can rent the house out and not have to worry about it at all? Especially if this is just temporary?" If both of you own the property jointly, and you have not legally bought your sister out, Yes YTA You do not get to decide to rent it out without her permission.
    via Famous-Ice6175
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    Euphoric Peanut1492 Yes YTA! Your sister owns 50% of the house based on the info you provided. You don't get to dictate the rules of everything just because you feel like it!!!! Who gives a sh if she owns her own house? You think that makes you more entitled to your mom's house because you haven't managed to find any other path to home ownership? Can't stress it enough....... YTA, YTA, YTA!
    via Euphoric_Peanut1492
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    rivers 1141 If anything, you should be paying your sister for her share of the house each month. Youre the a h_le. You guys should just sell it or you should buy her out so you can do what you want.
    via rivers1141
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    Remote-Obligation145 YTA. You know it too that's why you're here hoping some idiot will tell you you're not. You TOOK ownership of that house and half belongs to your sister. She needs to take you to court ASAP.
    via Remote-Obligation145

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family drama aita house friends rent argument family sister reddit thread Reddit mom
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